I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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