Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
