Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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