yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize