Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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