I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
