I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize