If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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