Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
