I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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