In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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