did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
