jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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