the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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