i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
