FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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