It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
