nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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