i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
