No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
