I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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