Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
