yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
