...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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