Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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