wrigley field is MILF paradise
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
