Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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