win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
