I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize