Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
