ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
