ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
