I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
