you mean i was at the winter classic?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
