This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize