Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
