..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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