note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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