Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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