Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
