Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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