And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
