I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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