If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize