Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
