Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
