It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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