That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
