Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
