you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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