I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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