I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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