dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
