you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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