fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
