1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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