just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
There are leaves in my underwear?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
