Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
