First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
