You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
