the condom got lost in my hair
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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