Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
