I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
