belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
