dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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